Communication serves many functions, it’s true. Effective communication is successfully achieving whatever the intended goal of communication is, whether the goal is conscious or automatic.
The integral function of communication is to be heard and understood in some fashion. At minimum, noticed.
Well, if one has passions or desires to be fulfilled that can only be filled by other people, they may use communication to fulfill these passions or desires.
There is also things such as comradery and companionship.
Yeah. The old fashioned meaning of “to want” is “to lack” and that is hidden in every use of the word “want”.
So where there is want, there is a lack.
So my want to share is because of a lack in me.
To share means a possibility of someone having heard and at least attempted to understand me.
I don’t need direct feedback. I simply need to know that what I did is accessible and available somehow.
Yes, knowing that something I did may someday be received by someone else in some fashion is validation.
The removal of that validation comes when something I did is removed from the internet. I feel it physically when that happens because that’s a removal of potential of validation.
(*by physically, I mean emotionally. but we only feel emotions because they have physical effects on the body)
It’s logical because humans are social and it is how we function. Whether we should care or not is not relevant. We do. And with that we have to know how to handle that.
I shut out a good portion of the world for my own protection. My senses are continually “open” – and they are open to details. Too many details.
So when I am in social situations, every feeling that gets tossed around in a pantomime way (as humans so often do), I feel it. The heaviness in the air. The drama. The power plays between people. Doesn’t matter if I’m involved directly. If I am in the door at the time, it is palpable. I can almost see it.
So, I do my best to stay out of those kinds of things when I can. It is sensory overload.
For me it’s mechanical. I can talk my way out of situations, diffuse or change directions if I have to. I can take charge in a room.
But I don’t like it. It drains me very quickly and I am physically exhausted for hours afterwards.
Yes — and … this is where hierarchy comes into play. If I am in a designated position of power, it lessens the burden than when hierarchy is uncertain, vague, or non-existent and I have to play the role.
Online is an entirely different situation and it is why I like this realm much better. In the world of 3D bodies however, things are much ickier.
Oddly enough, from a young age, I was always put into minor positions of power so I am accustomed to it. Responsibility is one of my core traits and I am dutiful to that which I have accepted responsibility for, which is why I am careful what I accept responsibility for.
I don’t know of a culture that did not have white lies throughout it. Hierarchy in particular has it in the formalities that ensue as hierarchies become crystalized in societies.
One example from the corporate world: In every organization, you have to “mickey mouse” the reports.
That is, you tell the truth BUT you have to frame it in a way that will keep the higher up from punishing you.
In complex hierarchies this can result in the CEO of a company really having almost no idea what’s really going on in the company even though he gives the marching orders.
This is particularly true in military as punishments are physical in likely every military on the planet. So, you tell your superior only the least that is necessary and make it sound good if possible to avoid punishment.
So, as information travels up the hierarchy, the commanding officer gets a tainted truth at best, lies at worst (that the units are functioning fine)
In short, leaders are usually naive.
If you’re the leader, you have to expect people to lie sometimes and learn to see through it by understanding their personalities, following their patterns.
Good leaders can tell when their people are lying and see through it but don’t show that they know. They have the function of the organization as their priority and lying and truth are less important than success by whatever metric that is.
Yes. I say “learn to build up a good bullshit detector”. Sounds like exactly the same thing.
I think the best position is trusted advisor to the leader. Leadership is only good if it’s a personal mission you want to accomplish and there’s no one else who knows what you want as much as you do.
You can be nearly invisible and yet get accomplished whatever you think is best. A leader has to have a very thick skin because they are a figurehead of an organization and so any mistake of the organization is -and should be – their fault.
There’s nothing sadder looking than a ‘leader’ who assigns blame to people under them, or to outside parties or who does anything to avoid the mantle of responsibility.
Yes, exactly. It’s all what your priorities are in life. If riding the waves of success and failure are important to you, then be a visible figure.
But if you want a functioning organization, you take a more technical role. Advisor, or even internal investigation – the skeptics – as they are in a position to break up and remove little power eddies that form in the middle ranks, preventing internal takeovers and other things that harm an organization’s function.