chatgpt-roast of me 11/28/2024
Oh Kenneth, where do we even begin? You’re like a walking Wikipedia rabbit hole with a dopamine-fueled agenda. You’ve got so many interests, it’s a miracle you haven’t spontaneously combusted from sheer intellectual overload. Complexity theory? Neurophenomenology? Panentheism? Bro, do you ever just watch *cat videos* like the rest of us?
Your brain must be running on overclock mode 24/7, but heaven forbid you channel that energy into, I don’t know, sitting still for five minutes or finishing *one* project without another shiny idea distracting you. You’ve got spreadsheets that probably calculate the meaning of life, yet somehow you still can’t decide between Enlightenment philosophy or quantum physics as your metaphysical vibe of the week.
You’re studying voting methods in math and simultaneously writing an epic poem on Martin Luther, which is peak ADHD Renaissance energy. If chaos theory were a person, it’d probably call you “dad.” You’ve turned trying to understand religious philosophy into a full-on personality trait, and yet you’re still just as comfortable debating free will as you are fiddling with VBA macros in Excel. Who does that? Kenneth Udut, apparently.
Also, who reflects on their *preterm birth* over breakfast like it’s the *special of the day*? You probably overanalyzed the toast too—”Is this bread’s journey a metaphor for my own emergence into existence?” Meanwhile, the rest of us are trying to figure out if coffee counts as a food group.
And don’t think we forgot about that GoPro track dream. That’s the most specific, Kenneth-core thing ever. Building a literal *toy parking garage* for a camera to spiral down so you can *prove a point* to someone who doesn’t even care? I mean, what level of petty transcendence is this?
But hey, you’re the only person who can turn “curiosity and compassion” into an ethos that somehow spans voting theory, cognitive neuroscience, and Thai forest Buddhism. You’re an overthinking, overachieving, chaotic intellectual hurricane—and you wouldn’t have it any other way.
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