But … their interface was web based and you had to click “browse…” and could input five input files at a time.

Yeah, what the user “signs off on” without REALLY finding out what they REALLY wanted/needed… *sigh* – nothing’s changed.

I worked for a Big Pharma in the late 90s/early 00’s. I was their “Excel guru” and somehow cobbled together a system within Excel and VBA which ended up making the company real money. Well, I was just a little temp worker. They *had* to hire me and, after a show of getting hundreds of resumes from people who sadly didn’t realize that the job was for only one guy (me) who also wrote up the job description, and who also got a new boss who had to play the game and pretend all of these more qualified people might get it than me…. I got in at exactly my asking price. [which I also knew was the going rate for my area for that type of position because, well, “I had an Internet” and knew how to use it – and I also didn’t care about getting hired by them,, as I was already ready to quit and go to school to become a school teacher (gifted/special ed – I always tested well for that career option)

Anyway, short story long, at one point after a few years of being dependent on me and my monsterous masterpiece, they decided it needed to be more “I.T.” in nature and they hired M ic ros trat egy to turn my system into ‘cubes’ and ‘slices’ and whatever the buzz words for newer databases were.

Complex business operations dependent upon… EXCEL? and a single person!? Can’t have that.

So, for a year, my bosses would play the game with me, asking for my help here and there in tiny ways to help them that I knew (and didn’t care) that would put me out of a job. I helped, but I kept most of my focus on the other stuff i felt was more important – serving the needs of the business analysts. That’s how I started in the first place, and saw no reason to stop.

Now in my processes, I had automated the transforming thousands of little text files from mainframes, CD ROMs, the web, and cobbling it all together with business metrics to produce interactively self-graphic reports that were automatically send (from Excel) to 4,200 laptops in the field for the sales reps to use on a weekly basis. It tied up my computer for hours to run but it worked. They all got something unique and VERY VERY specific for their needs, drillable down to the level of an individual doctor with the insurance plans of their patients and what drugs they were prescribing. The only thing missing were the patient names.

So, two million dollars and 16 months later, their presentation comes. They successfully managed to to incorporate a number of the business metrics and figured out how everything combines to end up with the right numbers.

But … their interface was web based and you had to click “browse…” and could input five input files at a time.

Here’s I’m processing thousands and thousands of diverse text files and other sources of data on a click of a button, and they wanted each one inserted individually? BY HAND!? _ by hand!? _

Well, they got the big boot. Total waste of time and money. Several people [not me] were suddenly not around anymore.

When I finally left to go to Florida with family 13 yrs ago, I had to train a team on using my monstrosity. I let them document it. I never documented it. I just wrote it and made it work…

and it all started from a little temp job where I was hired to copy and paste numbers down a sheet. Got bored with that, found this little thing called “Macros” and taught myself. I’m dangerous when I get enthusiastic about something new tongue emoticon

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

eight − = 7

Leave a Reply