real life socializing is worth trying. You might like it. I tried hanging in bars, hanging out at friends houses, hanging out in coffee shops, church hopping, even almost joining a monastery… but i kept returning to online socializing as superior.
But that’s me. For me, I haven’t found anything as close to utopia as online. Real life feels so… so… 1820s or something. Monastery came close though.
ah you want deep stuff. meh. can’t help with that. I discovered I like deep-in-the–wide-shallows rather than super-deep in the narrow depths… if that makes any sense.
But I’m probably somewhat autistic tbh. extended real life social interaction knocks me out most of the time… Yet I do it daily and wouldn’t trade my real life relationships … but they also knock me out. But online I can keep going and going and going.
I envy people who are into sports. They can make friends just by having sports teams in common.
I remember trying to get into NASCAR. I learned whose who. I got into the spirit of it. Rooted, picked favs and stuff. I did it to be social and it was fun for a bit. But I also had no trouble walking away.
I wasn’t sad to leave my hometown when I left. I started wanting to leave around the age of 25 or so, finally ended up building a house in FL and coming here, even though it wasn’t initially in my plans. But I didn’t do any of my life plans and I’m loving the randomness instead. [and Im also doing ALL my life plans, just differently].
I think age 27-35 is supposed to be “nesting phase”, at least in American culture.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Young_adult_(psychology) Man I can’t find it. SOMEWHERE I read about 27-35 being nesting age but here they’re placing it as the “age 30 crisis” which is starts around 28.
Meh, whatever. They’re just approximations based on culture, which changes over time anyway. The work done in the 50s was modified in the 80s which continues to be modified today as living patterns change.
I should be having “mid-life crisis”, growing my hair long and putting it in a pony tail and….
It’s not downhill after 25. Your brain keeps developing and changing ’til the day you die.
What happens is your brain gets better and better at what it does over time, requiring less effort and space to accomplish the same things.
and if you believe your body stops developing? Wait ’til you hit Puberty #2. They’re lying.
‘ve heard rumors that there’s a 3rd puberty as well, somewhere in the early 60s and beyond… but who knows. I can definitely attest to Puberty #2 though.
30s is the peak of “great achievement” eras for scientists. But a lot depends on the fields.
In music and art for example, some great work doesn’t start until old age, the coalescing of a lifetime of experiences abstractly depicted. Similar for writers and such.
One thing you learn: The simple narratives about “how life works” that you hear and believe are less and less true as time goes on. You start leaving stereotyped thinking and start combining your own experiences with your learning, discarding what you’ve heard that doesn’t match up with experience and adding what they’ve missed.
It’s easy to parrot what you learn in school and read on Wikipedia and see on youtube videos. It all makes perfect sense.
But then as you experience life, you see that “wait a minute, no, that’s not right at all”… and you observe and notice yourself and others and realize, “wait, that part was true, but hey, that part was full of shit”.
I guess it’s a process of going from the generalized averages and becoming a specific person.
[and yeah, I’m generalizing based upon personal experience and assuming it has universal applicability]
Confusion. Someone asked that question in another area today when they found out that playing the same types of video games shrinks your brain as it were.
My answer was confusion. Try different types of games. Go from FPS to a slower more puzzle based game. Put down the controller and get a girlfriend. Do something you hate until you start to like it and then drop it suddenly.
Confuse your body helps with dieting and working out. Confuse your brain to stimulate continual cognitive development.
One of the ways I do that is shooting for at least one “woah” every day. Some fundamental change of perspective that challenges how I thought i saw the world and refactors the program in my brain and recompiles it with new parameters.
It sounds to me that you’re planning your own future. You’re planning to become more conservative as you age. You’re planning to have crystalization of knowledge – or maybe you already do and are simply reflecting your current self into your future, I dunno.
I never could answer “Who will you be in 5 years?” I couldn’t answer it when I was 10, or 15, or 20, or 25, or 30/35/40/45. I doubt I’ll ever be able to.
I always knew I’d be a nice guy, diplomatic, nerdy, always learning something new daily. Nerd to the core, always seeking some new discovery that I never knew before, finding something that painfully changes my worldview and forces me to reconsider what I thought I knew.
Yet “what will I be doing”? Or “What will my status be” stuff? No idea. I could always figure out what I *didn’t* want but planning what I *do* want? That’s day by day, moment to moment.
I mean, when does become the author of his own life?
You can read stuff written by other authors about who you should be. What you should think. How you should behave.
But when does get to be his own author?
Or the author for others, just like he once read other authors about himself?
I personally think you’d make a fantastic author to write about what other people should think, should believe, should behave, should do.
Then someone else in the future will use YOU as the authority for THEIR life for a time, until one day they go, ‘wait a minute… ”