But I’m not miserable, lonely, depressed or suicidal.

Time, Predictions, False and True:
How much of our own future can we predict with accuracy?
=====
“While my skills may be in computers, and I could make a
*lot* of money doing programming, computer repairs, and the
like, I see myself 20 years in the future, miserable,
lonely, depressed, and suicidal.” – Kenneth Udut, Feb 19, 1996

======

Feb 19, 1996, I was in “church hopping” mode and had just discovered the Eastern Orthodox. My introduction was partly by phone, partly in person but much after that was online. A mailing list of thousands.

In my introductory message, I expressed my gratitude, my thoughts about monastic life, becoming a priest if I decided to join them (which I did a few months later, and then petered off my interest 5 yrs after that and now agnostic), but also said this:

“While my skills may be in computers, and I could make a
*lot* of money doing programming, computer repairs, and the
like, I see myself 20 years in the future, miserable,
lonely, depressed, and suicidal.” – Kenneth Udut, Feb 19, 1996

So, it’s almost 20 years later now. Jan 13, 2016.

It turns out I *did* make a lot of money doing programming and computer work, running businesses and the like, even the stock market for a bit.

But I’m not miserable, lonely, depressed or suicidal.

Could a strong awareness of a _possible_ future help us unconsciously sidestep bad parts of that possible future WHILE we’re living in the future time frame we worried about?

In short, did I internalize this and make it a goal for 43 yr old Ken to NOT embody the negative-potential-future 43 yr old Ken that I was afraid of when I was 23 year old Ken?

==

Of course it’s POSSIBLE that the predicted future _could_ come true, as it’s not yet 20 yrs. *fingers crossed on that*!

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