But her perspective? I was being a smartass.

You can go right to Socrates :) But yeah, there’s things you can do to curtail it somewhat. I didn’t *think* I was being a smartass to my mom, as I was using rational, clever arguments to justify my thoughts/feelings about things.

But her perspective? I was being a smartass.

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Indeed. Heck, one weird trick works great and it’s used by all parents of all well behaved children in every country all over the world across all of time

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A nicer way of saying “passive-aggressive” is “assertive”.

It’s part of a scale between passive and aggressive, with assertive (or passive-aggressive) in the middle.

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I read this book way back in 1990 and they’ve updated it again a couple of years ago. It has cartoon panels of ‘model’ and ‘not-model’ behavior for parents to consider.

It’s all cartoon stereotypes but familiar conversations between every parent/child.

 

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk P

 

I *think* it’s related to non-aggressive communication… I forget exactly what it’s called.

But it works. I use it on kids, adults, everybody.

No hitting required.

There’s other techniques than this one out there that are equally good (or even better) but this is one that I know.

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no prob. Honestly I don’t think you need it. I didn’t need it either – I just liked it. I can just think of a lot of parents that I *wish* had read this book instead of hitting their kids or screaming at them constantly, wondering why they were ineffective.

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I’ve lost my temper with my nieces and nephews through the years a few times. But it was more ‘me’ than it was ‘them’. Thankfully, I can count on one hand how many times I used my hand and it was an automatic swat that I instantly regretted.

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I just learned it too :P I always thought it was bad and never knew where it came from ’til I looked it up for you. I think it gets a bad rap because it seems to be dishonest. but that might be “passive-aggression gone wrong”

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You nailed it. That’s precisely how I approach people of any age.

Negiation is sales. I don’t mind someone selling me something *if* they do it right.

But if they do it wrong, they’ll have a hard time.

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This chart helps too. You can see that passive-aggressive is a strange, wonky combination of elements from the passive + aggressive column: Gives the outward *appearance* of passive while the aggressive (true nature) comes out in confusing ways.8e269d9866ed79a5c8b4120e31395916

 

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