at 11 years old I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.

at 11 years old I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder.

I’ve never been on medication, but I was taught guided meditation, used biofeedback, and various techniques in my life to handle it

It is a constant companion, an emotional regulator that’s out of whack and contributes to my every thought and sensation and emotion to where I can hear the constant chatter that is probably supposed to be in my subconscious

I use it for its most creative possibilities whenever I can

Being creative is almost a curse at times because I must do things differently each time. Tiny bits of novelty in an ongoing basis feeds the beast and keeps it happy and i use intellectual stimulation most of the time.

So I know intimately what it lacks

I recently learned about one thing that my brain does: I can always see a few moments ahead some disaster.

Each one is irrational yet post hoc justifiable each time I get it hundreds of times every day

I figured out a year ago or so what part of the brain is kicking on when it happens and why – the same part of the brain that finger movements for piano playing are both stored and retrieved through.

Along with fear what it lacks is timing

But even these things are very surface in that they will eventually be programmed in by somebody who will use a range of human like gauges.

Hierarchical bayesian would be my guess: to emulate my anxiety or Adhd – I determined a while ago it would simply have increase the noise around the priors so that it was constantly untrusting what it learned in its past and would need constant reassurance from the present about it’s past learnings.

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