Thank you for tagging me. I can add nothing except my agreement. I hold to the (perhaps naive) notion that bullies are usually people who want to have friends, but don’t know the proper way to make them. They’re drawn to people they consider interesting. An interesting person can become a friend. Or… an enemy, but rarely neutral.
Divisiveness like litigation does not solve the problem but creates a warzone.
If nothing else, coping skills is key. For me, making myself the most interesting person to myself on the planet was a huge help. I found interests that were interesting to me, and I learned to amaze myself at every turn.
Narcissistic? It may seem so, but it’s no more narcissistic than feeling like a victim. What always happens when someone overcomes a difficult situation? They feel empowered and no longer a victim. What better empowerment than making yourself SO INTERESTING that a bully becomes a positively boring thing.
But that’s extreme and a goal.
Tolerance of bullies does not mean tolerance of their behaviors; but rather treating them as valuable, interesting individuals WHO HAPPEN to be exhibiting behaviors that are (or should be) socially unacceptable. Helping the bullies become better people helps everybody and keeping the victim from feeling as if they are a victim (and reeducating both families and the environment (school and neighborhood) is also critical.
No easy answers, it’s true. But even if a problem can’t be solved immediately, a few good steps in a good direction is something. A few bad steps in a wrong direction can lead to making a problem far worse than it was initially.
I could say more, but suffice to say that I’m proud of you for stepping in and saying something.
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